Broken

its been a while since i've written...

in my church at home, we have this place in the back of the sanctuary that we call the "wailing wall."  people are encouraged to write things that break their heart, as well as break God's heart, and post these on the wailing wall.  we've been doing this for a very long time, and over time this wall has gotten to be completely covered with pieces of paper, pictures, money, newspaper articles....

today in church we had sort of a relfection service where we took these things off of the wailing wall, read them to the congregation, and then placed these at the foot of the cross standing at the front of the room.  this was an extremely powerful service to me.  to hear these things spoken out loud was, well, unexplainable.  there was one in particlar that really struck me...the piece of paper urged people to pray for a young boy's family...this boy, 8 years old, in 3rd grade, took his own life.  

what?

it breaks my heart that this young boy, hardly even starting his life, found that he had no hope...

at an age where you have all the hope in the world.

it was so bad that he took his own life.

what?

i read a note that said to pray for those children who are abandoned and neglected, that they would find hope.  invisible children comes to mind....children who are affected by the sex trade comes to mind...

these things break my heart.

there was another note that stuck out to me..  it encouraged us to pray not only for those being abused, but those who were abusing.  i think this is something that we often forget to pray for.  we see those people suffering, those abused, neglected but we don't think to pray for those who are oppressing, abusing, neglecting, abandoning.  God loves these people just as much as he loves those who are hurt.  so should we.

my pastor used an illustration he heard from David Crowder...distinguishing justice from compassion..

picture you and some friends sitting by a river, enjoying a beautiful day and having a picnick.  all of a sudden you see people, floating downstream, drowning. you jump in and pull those people to safety.  after a while, you keep seeing more and more people floating down the river, drowning.  you continue to attempt to rescue these people but after a while you decide that you need to go up stream to figure out how so many people are drowning and to stop whoever is making this happen.  

this is the difference between justice and compassion. you have compassion on those who are drowning and you make those attempts to rescue them, but you also must act with justice and do something to stop the oppression.

i have such a hard time with this.  reason being, i feel as though i am so small, so unimportant...how can i stop children from being sold into the sex trade? how can i rescue the homeless, feed the hungry...i'm only one person.

i think this is something that many struggle with.  it's so intimidating.  

how can i make the difference? how can i be the difference?  

Food for Thought

After reading a friend's blog post, I sort of had an "aha" moment... you know, one of those moments when something just hits you.  Something that you should have known, and you sort of did know, but you never really realized it.  Anyways, as Christians, it has been made clear to me that we make things more complicated then they really are.  We sit and contemplate whether what we've done or what we're about to do is "Christian," whether its good or bad, whether we'll get punished or rewarded, or what I was always afraid of as a little kid: Is God standing up there with a big eraser, ready to erase my name out of the Book of Life as soon as I screw up?

I'm not sure why, but I think that through the church I was raised to believe that if I did the wrong things, if I messed up just once, I would be out.  God was gunna take one of those jumbo pink erasers and just erase my name right out of the "Book of Life."  Now I know that this wasn't my parents or family's doing.  I've been blessed with an amazing family; my immediate family, and both sides of my extended family.  I've learned a lot through their actions, and I've grown in my faith with their encouragement and guidance.  But that's not my point here...

My point is, God's not up there, just waiting for me to mess up.  Instead He's eagerly waiting to extend grace to me, grace that I know for a fact I need.  Grace that I've experienced day in and day out, in big ways and in small.  This is a grace that none of us deserve.  So many times I just can't comprehend this, and it frustrates me.  But I think I'm beginning to understand it a little bit.  Now there is no way I will ever fully comprehend God's grace.  But I can think of one way...

How about extending grace to others?  I believe that God has created us to be simply who he has created us to be (if that makes any sense).  He hasn't created us to follow this rule, say the right thing, avoid that situation. He's created us to show to others what he has shown to us, through the gifts and talents he has given us.  So instead of condemning someone when they've done me wrong, and holding a grudge, shouldn't I extend to them the grace that my God has more than willingly extended to me?  Shouldn't I show them- and not just them, everyone I come in contact with- the love that Christ has shown me?

I think there's more to this, but I haven't fully "gotten" it...not yet.  This love isn't a superficial love.  I think that we are beginning to get this. You can see it everywhere.  More and more we're reaching out.  Reaching out to those in Africa with HIV/AIDS.  Reaching out to the people in our community who are less fortunate.  Helping others who desperately need our help.  I'm beginning to see that our churches are no longer "building churches."  Or at least they shouldn't be.  We can't keep sitting in our pews, hearing the same sermons over and over again.  You can't have faith without action.  

Right?

You're Blessed

Matthew 5:3-12

You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope.  With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you.  Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are- no more, no less.  That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God.  He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

You're blessed when you care.  At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.

You're blessed when you get your inside world- your mind and heart- put right.  Then you can see God in the outside world.

You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight.  That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution.  The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

Not only that- count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me.  what it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable.  You can be glad when that happens- give a cheer, even!- for though they don't like it, I do!  And all heaven applauds.  And know that you are in good company.  My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

So, I was doing my devotions tonight, and to be honest, this is the first time I've done them in a very long time. But I feel like my relationship with Jesus is lacking..more like we're just aquaintances instead of best friends, which is what I long for. So I'm doing my best to just dive into Him, and learn all that I possibly can. 

Anyways...

As I was reading, I came across a set of verses that were familiar to me from years of Sunday School and youth groups... found in Colossian 1:19-20:

From beginning to end he's there, towering far above everything, everyone.  So spacious is he, so roomy, that everything of God finds its proper place in him without crowding.  Not only that, but all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe- people and things, animals and atoms- get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that poured down from the cross.

What really gets me is where is says that all the brokenness in this world, every broken person, every broken situation, everything fits together in "vibrant harmonies."  That phrase alone is enough to give chills. 

I think it's time to stop looking at things in our world as permanently damaged, broken, or messed up. It says that these things are properly fixed and fit together.  We so often read of doing the right things, and loving unconditionally, and doing simple acts of kindness.... well, I think it's about time we stop reading and thinking about these things, and time we start actually doing them. It says later in Colossians 2:6-7:

My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you've been given.  You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him.  You're deeply rooted in him.  You're well constructed upon him.  You know your way around the faith.  Now do what you've been taught.  School's out; quit studying the subject and start  living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving.

My goal this week is to live Christ's love out.  To see things in the eyes of my Father.